I’ve split this chapter into two sections:
- The first section is a quick refresher on your anatomy, the science behind vaginal orgasms and why vaginal orgasms differ from clitoral orgasms. Think of this first section as the groundwork. It’s vital information that will make achieving a vaginal orgasm much easier.
- The second section is all about the techniques.
Vaginal & Clitoral OrgasmsHopefully, you already know this, but in case you don’t, clitoral orgasms come from clitoral stimulation on the outside of the vagina, while vaginal orgasms come internal stimulation from your man’s penis, a dildo, fingers, etc. Many people believe the G-spot inside your vagina, but it may not be a separate entity and may even be from stimulation of the rest of your clitoris that rests beneath the surface.
Clitoral orgasms tend to be more common during intercourse, and less than half of women have regular vaginal orgasms during intercourse. Of the women who report having vaginal orgasms, many find them to be much more intense and satisfying than clitoral orgasms.
The Right SpotHaving a vaginal orgasm is slightly different for every woman.
1. Some women can have one from general stimulation throughout their vagina from their man’s penis. They don’t need their man to hit a particular spot.
2. Others need intense stimulation on their G Spot on the anterior wall if they want a vaginal orgasm. Although some people don’t believe in a distinct anatomical structure known as the G-spot, we firmly do. It’s located about 2 inches inside your vagina on the anterior wall, but it can be difficult to find.
3. Some women need intense stimulation on their A Spot (this spot also has other names such as the Deep Spot, the anterior fornix erogenous zone or the AFE). This is on the anterior wall of your vagina just like your G Spot but is deeper. You can see its location below.
However, you might find other spots to be pleasurable as sensitivity in the vagina varies.
Finding out what kind of stimulation you need for a vaginal orgasm depends on your body and preferences. So, you’re going to need to do a bit of experimentation to discover what feels best.
Mental Blocks To Vaginal OrgasmsQuestion: Are you already close to having a vaginal orgasm during sex with your man? Do you feel that you are at the absolute edge, but you just need a tiny nudge to get over the edge and climax vaginally?
- Trying to “force” the orgasm.
- Being distressed about not being able to orgasm. It’s a vicious cycle.
- Performance anxiety.
- Negative past experiences.
Of course, it’s hard to get aroused when you’re stressed and have an impending deadline at work that is worrying you.
Putting pressure on yourself to orgasm is obviously going to work against you and make it harder to cum.
Having past negative experiences like an abusive boyfriend who only cared about his own pleasure can make it difficult for you to focus on your own sexual gratification in new relationships.
Having a vaginal orgasm will become far easier if you can get yourself into a relaxed state of mind, unencumbered by stress or worry or performance anxiety.
Now, instead of devoting this entire article to mental obstacles, I have created a guide that will teach you strategies to overcome these blocks so that you can more easily orgasm. Read it here.
Once you’ve identified and overcome potential mental blocks and obstacles, then it’s time to learn the actual techniques that will push you over the edge into orgasmic bliss…
It’s going to be much easier to try to have a vaginal orgasm by yourself first before trying it with your man as you’ll feel less pressure.
Start by using a penis shaped dildo to mimic your man, otherwise use a regular dildo or just your fingers (if they’re long enough).
Once you penetrate yourself, it’s then a case of finding the most pleasurable spots on your vagina to stimulate. As I said earlier, for most people, this is going to be either your G Spot or Deep Spot.
You just need to maneuver your dildo into place so that you can start stimulating that spot. Then it’s a case of experimenting with the below techniques by yourself, before trying them out with your man.
Vaginal Orgasm Techniques
1. Angle/PositionYou then need to think about the most satisfying angle or position of penetration whether you are using a dildo or having sex. Is your dildo pointing upwards, downwards or slightly into the side of your vagina? Is it parallel? Once you figure this out, you can then replicate this angle with your man during sex.
2. How Deep?
However, there is also an area much deeper in your vagina called the A Spot. Some women have intense, full body orgasms when this part of their vagina is stimulated. Obviously if you prefer having your A Spot stimulated during sex, then you’re going to prefer deeper penetration from your man.
3. Fast Or Slow?Another myth that perpetuates is that faster is always better. You probably already know how untrue this is. A more accurate description is that the RIGHT RHYTHM is best. Finding a fast, slow or medium paced rhythm is a critical part of having vaginal orgasms.
You’ll also find that a steady rhythm is much more preferable than stopping and starting or going from fast to slow or vice-versa.
4. Rough Or Gentle?Another personal preference is how hard you like it. Do you like gently making love with your man with soft, loving strokes or do you prefer more animalistic, intense, wild sex where he is penetrating you with everything he’s got?
Most people enjoy both, depending on their mood. After a wild night out, intense sex can be a lot more fun. But, if you’ve just had an emotional, heart-to-heart conversation with your man, then more loving and intimate sex will probably feel more appropriate.
5. SizeThere is no other way to put this: Size does matter when it comes to having vaginal orgasms. If your man is too short or does not have enough girth, then he won’t be able to stimulate you as intensely. However, if he is too big then he is going to feel very uncomfortable inside you and sex can feel painful instead of pleasurable. The same problem arises if your man is too long.
For a significant amount of women, the ideal penis size is average or a little above average, provided it is attached to a man that knows what he is doing and is willing to listen to your feedback.
However, some women prefer penises on the larger side, while other women prefer them on the smaller side. It all comes down to your personal preference.
6. That Magic TouchNot many people consider this technique. It’s all about your man applying constant pressure to a particular spot in your vagina with his penis. To perform the Magic Touch, he needs to penetrate you so that the tip of his penis is pressing against a particular spot and then just hold himself in place, keeping constant pressure applied.
A good spot for him to hit with the tip of his penis during the Magic Touch is your A Spot when he is deep inside you.
Many women report that the Magic Touch feels fantastic, while some don’t get much pleasure from it at all.
There are also many other techniques that you or your man can perform with your fingers and hands or adapt them for use during sex or with a dildo.
7. The Right PositionIt goes without saying that the right position during sex is vital for orgasming vaginally. Like with the techniques I describe above, the only way to find the right position for you to have a vaginal orgasm is by testing out many different positions and seeing what works.
The Last WordThe final thing to say on achieving vaginal orgasms with your man is that you need to talk to him. As cheesy as it may sound, communication is key. When you can share tips with each other on what you both enjoy, you will quickly get in sync and find having vaginal orgasms to be easier and easier.
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