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Step 3, Part 4: How To Finger Your Girl

How To Finger Your Girl For Screaming, Shaking, Crying Orgasms

Below you will find 15 different techniques to finger your girl and give her intense orgasms. I’ll first cover the fingering techniques that focus on her clit, and then I’ll show you how to penetrate and massage her pussy with your fingers. Keep in mind that…

While you can learn more about eating her pussy, making her squirt and orgasm in the other parts of Step 3, I hope you’ve already read the two most important parts, Removing The Brakes To Her Sex Drive & Amplifying The Accelerators To Her Sex Drive.

If you haven’t, then the techniques in this guide will not seem as powerful and effective when you use them when you are touching and fingering your girl.

Her Anatomy

If you aren’t fully confident about your knowledge of female anatomy, then I strongly advise you to read this guide to the female sexual anatomy that covers both her external anatomy (aka her vulva) and her internal anatomy. If you haven’t already read this anatomy guide, then please do now.
As a quick refresher, here’s her external anatomy aka her vulva:

And here’s her internal anatomy:

How To Finger Your Girl – The Techniques

Before we dive in, I have just one piece of advice for you…
As you are fingering your girl and bringing her to orgasm, you absolutely must seek her feedback. It’s the only way to truly know if you’re pleasing and satisfying her and not causing her any discomfort. It’s the key ingredient to being the best she’s ever had.
Now, on to the fingering techniques…

1. Rubbing Her Clit

masturbations techniques from the bad girls bible
The easiest way to give her an orgasm is to rub her clit. In fact, most women either need or prefer clitoral stimulation for orgasm [1]; although, 64% of women reported that both clitoral and vaginal stimulation contributed to their usual method of reaching orgasm [2].  Another study found that women reported their clitoris to be more sensitive than their vagina in terms of having more pleasurable responses [3].

The main takeaway from these scientific studies is that while the vaginal stimulation can contribute to orgasm, most women find that their clit is the most sensitive area and should be caressed, stimulated, rubbed and loved if you want to bring to her to orgasm easily when fingering her.

Side note: Some women still struggle to orgasm from clitoral stimulation. But that’s normal, just like it’s normal for guys to ejaculate after just a few minutes of sex…although I do have a guide on how to last longer in bed in case you’re worried about your “speed.”

Even if you don’t do anything else, rubbing her clit is enough for most women to climax, provided you’ve got her in the mood first by removing the Brakes to her sex drive so she can get turned on and you have also ensure that you’ve actively made her horny by amplifying the Accelerators to her sex drive. Otherwise, go back to those steps before diving into vaginal fingering.

There are a bunch of different ways to rub her clit as demonstrated in the examples above and below. You can rub up & down, side-to-side or at another angle. It’s that simple. However, there are a few important caveats to making sure it’s pleasurable for her…

You’ll almost always need some kind of lube, otherwise, it will feel more painful than pleasurable for most women (damn friction!). Plus, lube just lets your finger or hand move more easily. It’s like when you masturbate without lube versus with lube. There are two options here:
  1. The ideal option is to lightly press your finger into her vagina first and using her natural lubrication as lube on your fingertip. If you ever feel your finger drying out, then just return to her vagina. This might not provide enough lubrication for some women, however.
  2. Alternatively, keep a bottle of lube on your bedside table, although this should only be necessary if she has trouble getting aroused.
Next, is figuring out what type of rubbing she responds to best?
  • Direct stimulation of her clit with your finger or indirect at the edge of her clit like in the above demonstrations or somewhere in between?
  • Intense or light pressure or somewhere in between?
  • Fast, slow or medium rubbing?
  • A combination?
As always, the key to truly satisfying her is figuring out what SHE enjoys, not following these instructions blindly, so make sure to get feedback from her, either by listening to her body or by talking to her.

Lastly, you can incorporate this technique into sex when you’re having doggy style sex. Here are some doggy style sex positions for inspiration.

2. Long, Slow Stroking

Stroking her from the bottom of her vagina to her clit is a great technique to pleasure her. It’s also a great way to cover your finger in her natural lubrication. Again, you need to try varying your technique, changing how much pressure you’re using and how fast you’re moving your finger. Also, feel free to stroke in the opposite direction, down from her clit to her vagina.
Feel free to compliment her as you please her. Some women feel self-conscious about how they look, just like you might if you want to make your penis bigger.
Lastly, you can use one finger like in the above illustration, but feel free to use 2, 3 or like in the next technique…

3. Four Fingers of Fun

bad girls bible, masturbation techniquesIf your partner needs more stimulation to orgasm, then Four Fingers of Fun should do it! All you will be doing is rubbing your four fingers over her clit, labia, and vagina in a circular motion. Using her natural lubrication on your fingers will make it much slippier, wetter and satisfying for her.

As I keep repeating (like a broken record!), make sure to try varying your technique to see what works best whether it’s the amount of pressure you use to how big your circles are to how many fingers you use…two or three fingers may feel better than four for her.

4. Her U Spot

u spot masturbation techniques
The U Spot should probably be called the “secret spot”, as so few people seem to know about it. While you can see it indicated in the diagram below as the darker shade of pink, it’s important to understand that it doesn’t have any distinct coloring on your female partner. It’s the area just above her urethra and to the sides of it.

Just like with rubbing her clit, using a lubed finger is best. Then it’s simply a case of gently stroking it as demonstrated in the diagram below. Extending your finger up to her clit as you stroke will help to increase the amount of pleasurable stimulation she receives.

Not every woman gets that much pleasure for U Spot stimulation, so if your girl isn’t digging it, then don’t worry about it too much, just try using another technique.

5. The Clitoral Hood

masturbation techniques
Some women have a clitoris so sensitive that it hurts when touched directly. If you are with a woman who has a clit this sensitive, then no matter how softly you rub it, it will hurt her, and you won’t pleasure her.
Fortunately, there is a simple solution. You just need to rub her clitoral hood instead. That’s the small bit of skin covering her clit like your foreskin covers your penis [4]. This way her clitoral hood acts as a sort of buffer between your finger and you can still provide her with lots of pleasurable stimulation.
Just like your penis, her clit becomes erect when aroused.

6. Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation may sound a bit woo-woo or like something reserved only for yoga-loving vegans, but that’s just the name, it’s surprisingly easy to perform. And if you do it right, you can give your girl a 15-minute orgasm.
That’s right, a 15-minute orgasm.
I don’t know why Orgasmic Meditation works so well, but once you see the benefits, you and your girl will be hooked.

The get set up, your partner needs to lie down on her back with her legs spread open and she needs to get relaxed. Then you need to get into a comfortable position sitting down to her right side with your left leg bent and over her stomach and your right leg under her right leg. You then need to start stroking the upper left quadrant of her clit with just one lubricated finger very slowly and lightly. I’ve indicated this upper left quadrant area between the dotted lines in the illustration above. Your touch should be as light as possible.

You’re going to move your finger a few millimeters back and forth making sure to apply only the slightest amount of pressure to her clit. Some women report that this kind of stimulation feels almost frustrating, and they can’t tolerate it for long, that it seems like you are teasing her, while others say that the longer they do it, the better it feels.

This is actually what you are aiming for! Even if your partner doesn’t achieve a prolonged orgasm, this is perfect for making her beg for more.

So even if your girl is begging you more pressure or stimulation, try to hold off and not give it to her, making sure to use the very least amount of pressure possible.

It’s a little hard to describe the exact technique with just words, so you may want to watch this detailed instructional video that will give you much more in-depth instructions on how to practice orgasmic meditation with your partner.

Sex is a very personal thing, so bear in mind there is no “correct” way to perform Orgasmic Meditation. If you find a variation of the above technique to work best, then please stick with that and use our advice as a set of guidelines about the best way to finger a girl, not rigid instructions. Experiment with lying down beside your partner while performing it or focus on a different area of her clit or whatever works best for both of you.
Note: While there is lots of praise online for the techniques, there has also been some critical investigative journalism by Bloomberg on the organization that provides courses in Orgasmic Meditation. I would advise you to read this investigation before engaging with them.

7. Squeezing/Massaging The Base Of Her Clit

Obviously, you know how sensitive the tip of her clit is. What you may not know is how far her clitoris extends inside her body [5].

So, why not play with parts of her clit that usually get little attention by massaging and gently squeezing it.

Massaging or squeezing the base of her clit is easy, just place your thumb and index finger on either side of her clit like in the illustration above. Then GENTLY press down and inwards so that you are ‘squeezing’ the base of her clit between the folds of skin surrounding it. Do not squeeze the exposed part of her clit; this will hurt her!

Start off with very gentle pressure and see how she reacts. Then increase or decrease the amount of pressure you use based on her feedback.

Then it’s just a simple case of playing around with her clit between the folds of skin, by rolling it between your index finger and thumb. You can also lightly jerk it up and down.

As I keep repeating, the most important thing you can do is lots of experimentation and get her feedback to see what type of stimulation she enjoys most as you’re squeezing and massaging the base of her clit.

8. Loving Her Labia

While her labia are not nearly as sensitive as her clit, there are a lot of very enjoyable ways you can pleasure and stimulate them.

Slowly rubbing them up and down like in the above diagram can bring her close to orgasm without her climaxing, which makes for great foreplay.

For many women, when they climax from clitoral stimulation, her clit can become ultra sensitive and painful for her if you touch it immediately, so you’ll want to hold off rubbing it for a few minutes. This makes her labia the perfect option for focusing on until her clit calms down and stops being so sensitive. If her labia are long enough, you can also rub her clitoris through them if she’s too sensitive for direct stimulation.

Using either her own natural lubrication or some from a bottle will make stroking her labia feel even more pleasurable for her.

9. Humping & Grinding

Many women first learn to masturbate through dry humping or grinding or rubbing against a pillow, toy, blanket or bed [6]. It might even be how she experienced her first orgasm [7], so why not use this to your advantage when trying to make her orgasm? Here are two ways you do just that:
  • When she is lying down in bed, slip one leg in between hers and gently press it up against her vulva. Then slowly move it forward and backward over her vagina while maintaining pressure.
  • While sitting down, have her straddle one of your legs and then encourage her to grind on it by gently pushing and pulling her hips forwards and backward.
Basically, any position where she has the ability to grind on you is perfect!

10. Pearl Necklace

I wasn’t sure whether or not to include this one in this list of fingering tips. It’s one of those techniques that looks really sexy, but some women don’t find it particularly pleasurable and some even find it a little cheesy.

The basic technique involves you taking a pearl necklace or any necklace that has a lot of round beads on it and slowly and gently pulling it between your girls labia so that it runs over her vagina.
You can add in some lube from a bottle too if either you or her prefer it to be more slippery.

11. Fingering From Behind

Every girl is different, so her “hot buttons” or favorite ways to be fingered may differ from previous women you have been with. The only way to find out how she enjoys being fingered by you is to either experiment or to simply ask her. If she’s willing, have her guide your hand to stimulate her from the angle that she usually uses so you can finger her the way she likes best.

With that being said, one way that many women enjoy being fingered is from behind, on the opposite side of her vagina to her G Spot, as demonstrated above.

12. Fingering Her G-spot

If you’re just touching your girl’s vagina, you need to know about the G-spot. The G-spot is one of the most sensitive spots inside her vagina; although, many women also find the A-spot to be quite stimulating.

Her G-spot is located around two inches inside her vagina. You’ll find it on the front wall (anterior) [8910]. If you slide your fingers in and curve them around her pubic bone, you should find her G-spot. This spot is actually a place where you can access her clitoris internally [11]. So when you rub her pussy inside and her clit outside, she’s getting pleasure from both directions.

If you’re not sure where to finger your girl, feel around for a location that has subtle ridges or grape-like bumps that are surrounded on either side by “gutters’ [12 p 82-83]. This is her G-spot. It’s usually easier to find her G-spot when she’s super aroused, which makes it swell [8, 13, 14, 15].
Her G-spot is key to making her squirt, and you can find out more in this guide to making her squirt.

How to Finger a Pussy Internally

Whether you’re aiming for G-spot stimulation or you just want to rub her vagina in general, these tips can help.
  • Use lube.
  • Make sure your fingernails are cut short and filed smooth.
  • The same goes for rough hands.
  • Wash your hands beforehand to avoid spreading bacteria, which can cause infection.
  • Start with one finger. You can always add more (and some women like four fingers or even to be fisted!), but you want to give her time to get used to each finger as you rub her pussy internally.
  • Pay attention to her responses. If she gets tense, pulls away, seems disinterested, or is in pain, do less of that. If she moans, breathes heavier, gets closer to you, or writhes, keep it up!

13. Fingering Her Anally

Fingering your girl shouldn’t be reserved only for her clit and vagina. She may enjoy some anal action too. I say “may” because not every woman enjoys anal stimulation.

If she does, then anal fingering is a great place to start, before progressing further to full anal sex. If she doesn’t, then it’s not a biggie, just focus on some other fun orgasm techniques whether that’s eating her pussy, making her squirt.

Before you jump into it, you need to be aware that her anus doesn’t self-lubricate itself like her vagina does, so you’re going to need some lube. Saliva will usually work fine, but keeping some lubricant nearby is a good idea. Coat your finger and the outside of her ass with some lube, then slowly press your lubed finger into her.

Make sure to take it extra slow and listen to her feedback (both what her body says, and what she says). Her sphincter takes a while to relax, so if you force your finger inside her before it’s relaxed, then it’s going to hurt her. Instead, you should maintain a soft pressure to allow her sphincter to relax around your finger. Once it does, then you can slowly push it in and out.

While fingering her anally, you can also rub her clit with your spare hand for extra stimulation.

Important – Do not touch her vagina after fingering her anally. You will be bringing bacteria from her anus to her vagina which will give her bacterial vaginosis or something worse. Wash your hand(s) thoroughly after any anal action. This also applies to anything else you put in her ass.

Important – Ideally figure out if she enjoys anal stimulation beforehand, but if it’s her first time, make sure she gives you feedback on what she enjoys or doesn’t like.
If she wants more anal action, then you may want to check out the Guide on how to have anal sex.

14. Your Fingers & A Vibrator

As always, it’s a good idea mix things up, so don’t be afraid to use your fingers while also using a vibrator on your girl. One idea is to use your fingers to penetrate here while focusing the vibrator on her clit like in the demonstration above.

Alternatively, you can switch and use your fingers on her clit, while penetrating her with the vibrator. The key as always is trying a few different combinations to see which is most pleasurable for your partner.

There are even vibrators that attach to your hand to make your fingers the vibrators!

15. Fingers Inside and Out

If you don’t have a vibrator handy, you can try this technique for touching your girl that incorporates internal and external stimulation.
Insert one to two fingers. If you’re fingering someone with two fingers, your middle and ring work perfectly. You can extend your pinky and index finger (think of how Spiderman shoots webs). Instead of keeping your arm straight as you touch a woman down there, you want to curl your wrist back toward her body. When you do this, you can grind the heel of your hand against her clitoris for simultaneous stimulation.
You can also think about how you can finger a girl LESS forcefully. If you have two fingers inserted, use your thumb to rub her clit.

More Vaginal Fingering Techniques, Please!

Keep in mind that the best person to teach you additional fingering techniques is your girl. She already knows what she likes best, and the best fingering techniques will vary from girl to girl, so my advice is to get her to show you and teach you what she enjoys so you can keep adding to your sexual arsenal.

Of course, this also has the added benefit of seeing your girlfriend put on a show and orgasm for you!


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