It’s usually much easier to get a man off than it is a woman. Men almost always orgasm through vaginal sex. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do a little more for your man. Perhaps a special date is coming up or you simply want to surprise your man with something different in the bedroom. If so, then you’re going to want to use one of these male orgasm techniques on him…
There’s More Than One Type of Male Orgasm
You might think that your man can only have one type of orgasm and it will always be the same, but that’s just not true. There are actually a few types of orgasm, and there’s some overlap between them as well.
- Regular orgasms are what you think of with ejaculation and involuntary muscle contractions.
- Prostate orgasms are achieved through prostate simulation and often feel quite powerful.
- Dry orgasms occur with retrograde ejaculation; the ejaculate flows inward toward the bladder instead of outward.
- Multiple orgasms happen in either sporadic or condensed time frames with interorgasmic intervals of several minutes.
- Ruined orgasms happen when the stimulation is stopped or changed, and the orgasm is less effective than usual.
You’ll learn a bit more about these types of orgasms as you explore the following male orgasm techniques.
Below you’ll find techniques that enable your man to live out his fantasies with you by his side (sharing fantasies can definitely lead to awesome orgasms!). You might find that something like role play gets you off just as well as it does your man!
1. Find that Prostate
This male orgasm technique is sure to blow his mind – and yours, too! – if the two of you are willing to experiment. The prostate, or your man’s G-spot, is located a couple of inches up his anus against the front wall beneath the bladder. It’s about the size of a walnut.
You can access the prostate with your finger, sex toys or with a strap-on (a practice known as pegging). Stimulation of his prostate is known as prostate massage. Remember to use lube with any anal penetration!
The prostate can also be stimulated if you press firmly through your main’s perineum, the area behind his balls.
Learning your way around the prostate is a great male orgasm technique for a couple of reasons:
- Prostate stimulation can make your man cum harder.
- It’s also key to multiple orgasms.
- Penetration can flip the power script, which is incredibly hot!
2. Try a Little BDSM
Like I said, power play can be intoxicating. There’s a reason why so many people are drawn to dominance and submission. As the person who is most often penetrated, you might default to a submissive role in your sex life even if you’d be a totally rad dominatrix! Pegging, which I mentioned before, can make you feel powerful. However, there’s so much more to BDSM, and you can certainly explore your submissive fantasies with your man!
If your man has an appetite for BDSM, it can really make his orgasms better. BDSM can create amazing sexual tension, and it might just be the edge he needs to get off like never before. Plus, if you take the reigns, you can tease and torture him to your heart’s desire.
Try these ideas to incorporate BDSM into your sex life:
- Tie him up: blindfolds also make a great form of light bondage.
- Add a little spanking or impact play.
- Try on different roles to make your sex life even steamier and give both you and your man amazing orgasms.
- See if he likes humiliation. Make him serve you or bar him from doing so if it gets him going.
- Force him to not to cum or to delay his orgasm.
There are so many things you can do with BDSM and it’s a great technique for giving your man orgasms in new ways. For some people, it’s like the cherry on top of the sex sundae. But for others, elements of BDSM are necessary for a fulfilling sex life, which is why I definitely recommend incorporating it into your sex life and trying it at least a few times.
3. Blow His Mind with These Oral Sex Techniques
Sure, you might already get him off with oral sex, but why not change it up a bit? Just switching up the way you give head to your man can be a great orgasm technique to use on him. There are tons of male orgasm techniques to try the next time you go down on him.
- Add your hand to stroke his shaft while you focus on the head, which is the most sensitive part of his penis!
- Swirl your tongue around the head of his cock.
- Take him as deep as you can – known as deep throating.
- Flick your tongue along the frenulum, the sensitive tissue on the underside of the head of his cock.
- Drag the head of his penis along the roof of your mouth or inside of your cheek.
- Lick from the base of his balls to the tip of his shaft.
- Gently suck his sack into your mouth.
- Seal your lips around his shaft and lightly blow hot air across his shaft.
- Lightly graze your teeth across his cock.
- If you’re into it, you can also try rimming. The anus is definitely an erogenous zone, and dental dams can make this activity pleasurable, safe and clean.
Keep in mind that not every guy is able to cum from oral sex. This could be because of how firmly he holds his penis when he masturbates, performance anxiety or simply because you have a mouth that’s a little bit too small for his big penis.
4. Give a Better Hand Job
Giving a hand job is something that many women struggle with. After all, you don’t own the equipment to practice on. It can be tricky to get the rhythm down, and your arm might tire because you’re not used to it. You’re also not stroking him from the same angle that he’s used to. Yours isn’t a terminal case, however!
Use these techniques to help your man get off when stroking him.
- Focus on the shaft with your hand while working the head with your mouth.
- Use both hands stroking downward. Whenever one hand stops making contact, the other should start moving from the base of his cock.
- Twist your hand as you stroke him.
- Rub your thumb over the head of his cock as you stroke toward the end of his cock.
- Use your hand to move the skin over his penis rather than just stroking up and down. You can be more rough with his penis than you think!
- Don’t forget his balls, either. Stroke, tug and cup them when you’re working his shaft.
5. Control His Orgasm
Orgasm control is an umbrella term that refers to several ways you can control, deny, or ruin someone’s orgasm. Several of these techniques can be used to bring your man a more impressive orgasm… when you finally let him cum, at least!
This is one male orgasm technique that you can incorporate with any of the previous techniques! Edging simply means that you get him close to orgasm and back off, not allowing him to cum. Repeat the process several times before allowing him to have an explosive orgasm! One way to prevent orgasm is to wrap your finger around his balls and firmly pull down when he’s about to cum. However, this doesn’t work for every man and if you’re too rough doing this, you can accidentally hurt him.
Edging is one male orgasm technique you can’t miss! You can also try it yourself to see how powerful it can be!
- Orgasm Denial
As the name suggests, orgasm denial means your man doesn’t get to have an orgasm. This might be due to an accessory that prevents him from becoming fully erect such as a cock cage. You can also “ruin” an orgasm by applying pain or distracting him right before the big moment.
- Orgasm On Command
Once you’ve edged your man or denied his orgasms, you’ll eventually want to reward him with pleasure. What do you do when you want him to cum and cum hard?! You demand it.
Many people find the power over another’s orgasm to be quite thrilling, and there are those people who love giving up that control to someone else. It can feel quite naughty and hot.
It takes a little practice to get someone to orgasm on command, but it may be easier than you think. Start with a particular word or action when you know he’s approaching orgasm. This means you need to get to know his body pretty well.
As you repeat this process, he will associate whatever action with an orgasm. You might even be able to train him to do so without him realizing. This is a type of conditioning. When you get to the point that you want him to have an orgasm right now, you can use that word or perform the action that has become associated with orgasm to make him cum.
If he’s been trained well, he should have an immediate orgasm.
Note that some people are trained easier than others. Those who have trouble having an orgasm at all might find that this male orgasm technique does not work very well. But many people do, so it’s worth giving a try, especially if you’re a bit of a dominant in the bedroom.
- Forced Orgasm
Finally, a forced orgasm typically involved restricting a person’s movement and applying intense stimulation until they orgasm, perhaps over and over again. An easy way to do this is with a vibrator; although, you may need to use a different toy or your own body part if a vibrator doesn’t work well for your partner.
6. Add Toys
The final bit of advice about male orgasm techniques is one that most women can appreciate: use toys! He might like a vibrator on his shaft, a cock ring that helps him remain harder longer or a butt plug inserted when you’ve got him tied up or when he’s having sex with you. There are so many toys to choose from. You might have something that he’ll love already, or you can invest in some dedicated couples toys.
Why not give him a Flesh light, one of the most popular toys for men? You might be surprised how watching your man masturbate can turn you on!
7. Give Him Multiple Orgasms
You probably know that women can have multiple orgasms, but do you know that men can have them, too? This might sound impossible, but trust me, it’s not! In fact, it’s one of the practices of tantric sex.
Typically, a man has one orgasm and is done. He then needs to recuperate afterward. This is known as the refractory period.
The key to mastering multiple orgasms in men is to be able to orgasm without ejaculating. It’s important to realize that the processes of orgasm and ejaculation are physiologically different. To have multiple orgasms, your man will need to develop control over his body.
He’ll need to be super mindful of his body, knowing when ejaculation is approaching and when it’s imminent. You must be able to ease up on stimulation without him spilling over the edge. He can practice deep, mindful breathing to hone this skill.
There are two techniques you can use to get him to have an orgasm without ejaculating.
- Wrap your index finger and thumb around his scrotum above his testicles and tug firmly right before orgasm. Again, make sure that you don’t hurt him when doing this.
- Press your fingers into his perineum, the space between his scrotum and anus and press up firmly. This is a space where you can access his prostate externally, which is one way you may be able to give him an orgasm.
It can take time to master these skills, and you may feel frustrated if you don’t experience immediate success with this male orgasm technique. However, it will be less frustrating if you allow yourself to enjoy the experience rather than focusing on the goal.
8. Do Kegel Exercises
There’s more than one technique for male orgasm that you might think only applies to women. Kegel's, as you may know, are exercises you can perform to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Some women do them after giving birth because the exercises help with urinary incontinence.
Kegel exercises are also recommended because they may help you experience more pleasure and better orgasms from sexual activity. But men may be able to achieve better orgasms via Kegel's, too! Men can also treat urinary incontinence, which can cause urine leaks when coughing, sneezing and performing other exercises, and even erectile dysfunction with these exercises.
Your man can locate his pelvic muscles the same way you do: he should try to stop his flow of urine mid-stream. The muscles that do this are his pelvic floor muscles! Then, he can perform Kegel exercises that work out these muscles whenever he wants. Note that you should only stop urine to find these muscles and should perform exercises when you’re not urinating.
With one suggested Kegel method, a man should repeat the exercise four times daily. Each set should consist of three muscular contractions that he holds for two natural breaths each. Separate each contraction with another two breaths. This is known as the 4-3-2 method.
Now, while your man can do Kegel exercises to improve his orgasms, so can you! Like we mentioned, improving muscle strength can make sex feel better for you, but it also works like something of a party trick. When your man is inside you, you can contract those muscles around his penis, so you feel tighter.
9. Play with Sensation
Wikipedia lists sensation play as:
a class of activities meant to impart physical sensations upon a partner, as opposed to mental forms of erotic play such as power exchange or sexual roleplaying.
In sensation play, you focus on stimulation the sense of touch, You can do this with heat and cold with ice or massage candles, for example. Try one or both, or alternate between the two, which can make the effects feel more pronounced because of the contrast.
Some people might find ice to be excruciating because their erect nipples are super sensitive. Hot wax can make a person flinch, too. Just make sure you’re using a candle with a low melting point (around 125 degrees or lower) to avoid burns. This means avoiding regular decor candles.
Candles made specifically for massage and play are typically made from soy wax and an oil such as coconut, jojoba, almond, or another and cocoa or shea butters. If the wax still feels too warm, you can pour from higher up or into your hand first to allow it to cool before you apply it to your man’s body.
While ice can be inserted orally or anally, stick to unbroken skin when using wax. The chest and nipples are a prime target.
You can skip the ice and candles for heating and cooling creams that are intended for massage.
Other types of sensations include:
One way to explore sensation play is to run items with different textures across your partner’s body. You can use a variety of items from around the house for this. You might even ask him to identify the texture or item that you’re using! You might find that your man has a number of erogenous zones that respond to sensation.
You can also try sensations directly on his penis. Consider a cold or hot drink, soda or fizzy candy, or sensation lube during different sexual activities. Just remember to keep anything containing sugar away from your genitals because it may contribute to yeast infections.
10. Try a Hands-Free Orgasm
When most men, or their partners, think of how to make a guy orgasm, they often focus on penetration. The penis is inserted into an orifice or stimulation is literally hands on. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course. But if you’re looking for alternative male orgasm techniques, you might want to think outside of the box.
For example, can you give your man an orgasm without using your hands? Perhaps slide other parts of your body across his. You can lube yourself up with some massage oil or silicone-based lube for a slippery session. Or keep your clothes on and give him a sultry lap dance with no hands allowed!
Take it one step further and try to make him cum without touching him at all. Use your breath and voice to drive him wild. The first step? Learn how to talk dirty! Perhaps you can even achieve this over text.
Want one more tip? Try taking his hands out of the equation. Hold them down or tie them back so he cannot touch himself or you. Now you’re the one in control!
Another way you may be able to edge your man is through teasing and denial. Simply touch him, talk to him, or perform for him in whatever way gets him going. Then pause, switch things up, or lighten your touch when you feel orgasm is imminent. If you do this well, you can avoid that point of no return repeatedly until you finally decide to let him cum. That is if you do.
11. Stimulate His Nipples
You might already know that your nipples are sensitive, perhaps sensitive enough that you can orgasm from nipple play alone. But men can have sensitive nipples, too! There’s no promise that any person can cum simply from nipple stimulation, but adding nipple play can switch things up and perhaps add to the intensity.
The interesting thing about nipple play is that you can be naughty or nice. You can kiss, lick and suck on your man’s nipples to make them erect or to make them stand out even more. You can also use your breath. Remember, a wide mouth blows out warm air while pursed lips exhale coolly.
But you don’t always have to play nice. You can bite or twist nipples. If you’re a little bit of a sadist, you can also incorporate nipple clamps. These are designed to clip onto the nipples and halt blood flow. They might connect to other accessories or even weights..
Nipple clamps bite when you take them off, as blood rushes back into the nipples.
You can also alternate naughty and nice treatment of his nipples as one orgasm technique!
12. Keep the Clothes On
Remember before you had sex for the first time when you would make out for what felt like hours? You couldn’t keep your hands off your partner, and you’d grind your body against theirs. This is especially effective stimulation for women who can get clitoral stimulation from the bump-and-grind, but many men enjoy it, too. So don’t forget to dig this male orgasm technique out from the back of the drawer from time to time.
Additionally, you may be able to give your man mind blowing orgasms by stimulating him through his pants and/or boxers. If he’s especially sensitive, the layers of fabric might reduce the sensation so can enjoy it more and last longer. There’s no saying you have to use your hand, either. Get your whole body in on the mix.
Sexual roleplaying is a great way to enhance the energy of any roll in the sack. During role-play, you’ll each don a role. One popular scenario? Teacher and student.
You’ll act out what each character might say in the situation. You can include props and costumes if you want, but you don’t have to go all out if you’re not comfortable with it.
Not every role or scenario will work for you, so you may need to discuss before you adopt the role. You may feel awkward even if you’re into the roles. This is totally normal! The important part is just to let yourself experiment. By stepping outside of your own head, you can let go and fully enjoy sex, which may mean more intense sessions and better orgasms for you and your man.
14. Read, Watch, and Listen
Whether it’s porn, an erotic story, a sexy scene in a movie, or even audio erotica, you’ve got plenty of options to consider. The two of you can watch a movie and even imitate what the actors do or take turns reading something scintillating to each other.
Erotic media is awesome for getting you horny. Plus, you might find that porn shows or erotica describes some male orgasm techniques that you wouldn’t have thought of on your own and were not included on this list.
15. Explore Fetishes
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines fetishism as a preference or use of inanimate objects for sexual excitement. This may include non-genital body parts (e.g., feet, hands) and body secretions. Fetishism falls under the umbrella of paraphilias, which are sexual interests outside the norm that are defined differently from paraphilic disorders because they do not cause distress. In short, some people have fetishes, and those fetishes do not have to be a negative.
In fact, a fetish can be a positive.
Many times, incorporating a person’s fetish or kink can enhance their orgasms.
People may define the terms differently “fetish” and “kink” differently or even use them interchangeably.
Semantics aside, there are a lot of fetishes, many of which may not even have names or be recognized by more than a handful of people who may never know that others share their sexual proclivities..
If he reveals his desires to you and you’re willing to act on it, use that knowledge to come up with some effective male sex techniques. For example, if your man has a foot fetish, a foot job might be just what the doctor ordered.
Plus, if you’ve got a fetish or kink, it might be time to share it with your partner so you can explore more of your sexuality. Don’t worry that your desires are out of the ordinary. According to a survey of over 4,000 people by Dr. Jutin Lehmiller, the seven most common sexual fantasies are:
- Group sex
- Partner sharing
- Gender bending and same-sex experiences
While not all of these count as fetishes or even kinks, it just goes to show that many sexual fantasies are common and even shared by partners who may be unaware because they’re afraid to talk about them. This brings me to my next point.
Techniques + Communication = Success
You might be tempted to try every item on this list of male orgasm techniques. You can read books, buy sex toys, invite other people into the bedroom and try to keep things fresh no matter how long you’ve been together. You’ll probably achieve success this way. But there’s one surefire way to improve your sex life: talking about it.
Make sure your man actually wants something different. Some people prefer a routine or simplicity. Talk about specific techniques before you try them. Check in during sexual activity. Don’t forget to talk about what he liked, disliked, and would or wouldn’t do in the future.
Sexual communication correlates with relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and reductions in relational distress. It may be even more important than any specific orgasm technique..
Talking about sex gets you to connect and focus on the experiences you create together. This is important because while your man might enjoy some of these male orgasm techniques, some may not feel good. Some things may please him but not get him off.
A good attitude to have is focusing on the journey and not the destination.
Ultimately, the better tuned in you are to your man’s body and his responses, the easier it will be to discover orgasm techniques that work for him and activities you’ll both enjoy.