Whether kids, school, work or other stresses seem to be taking a toll on your sex life or you’ve just been with your partner long enough that the flames seem to have fizzled, you don’t have to stand aside and watch the embers die out.
There are plenty of new things to try in bed. Surprise your man with one or more of these tips the next time you want to get down or dirty or show him this list directly to rev up your motors and encourage incredible sex again!
1. Erotic Massage
If you or your man wants to try a new thing to try to initiate sex, try massaging one another’s bodies beforehand. Running your hands all over your partner’s body increases intimacy and releases stress, but it can also be a great turn-on. You don’t need a lot of fancy tools, but quite a few companies make massage stones that help to take pressure off your hands.
There are a number of massage creams and oils on the market, too, including scented and flavored ones. If you want ambiance, a massage candle will scent the air as it burns. The softened wax burns at a low temperature that is perfect for pouring on your lover’s body.
2. Sex Toys
Many women enjoy sex toys solo, and they can be just as fun with a partner. If you’re looking for a new thing to try, you can shop for vibrators and dildos the first time with a willing partner. Some partners can feel inadequate when it comes to sex toys, so it might not be the best idea to break out your 10-inch dildo.
Here’s a few tips to encourage your partner to try toys:
Choose something he’ll like, too, such as a bullet vibrator that you can run along his cock and balls or a cock ring with a vibrator for your clit. Shop for your new toy together.
Make sure you’ve chosen lube that’s compatible with your toys, too. Silicone-based lubricant shouldn’t be used with silicone toys; although, water-based lube is compatible with all toys.
3. Break Out of the Bedroom
If you always have sex in the bedroom, it might be getting a little stale. You can remedy this by simply not having sex in bed like you always do. Move to the living room sofa or dining room table, as long as you have privacy from your housemates.
Never underestimate the power of simply switching locales. There are plenty of other locations where you can have sex. Whether you’re in the car in a secluded drive-in, a camp site, a public bathroom where there’s a chance you can get caught or an empty movie theater, the change in venue can be exhilarating.
4. Try a Little Tying
Say “Good bye” to vanilla sex and usher in some light bondage. We’re not talking about drawing blood, and you don’t need to try anything that’s scary. However, binding wrists or ankles can be incredibly hot and is definitely a must when it comes to new things to try in bed!
Light bondage includes cuffs. You can choose from furry, leather, metal or even Velcro cuffs to ease into the idea. Ankle cuffs are larger than those intended for wrists, and you can finish your bondage with a blindfold or even a collar.
There are no rules that say which of you needs to be tied up or do the tying, so feel free to experiment with both roles. You might have fun switching. Just remember not to lose the key!
5. Snap a Shot
Thanks to smartphones, sexy selfies are all the rage. Why not extend the fun and snap a few hot photos of you and your beau when you’re getting down and dirty? You don’t need to share these photos on Instagram. They exist just for the two of you!
You can play with photos or take some nice point-of-view snaps while you’re feeling frisky. If you’re especially adventurous, you can record yourselves having sex and watch it later to get in the mood. Set up a tripod at the end of your bed or simply use your smartphone to take video in high-definition!
6. Tell Your Fantasies
Some couples keep their sexual fantasies under lock and key, but fantasies can be a source of arousal for both of you – even if you sometimes fantasize about other people. Telling your partner your sexual dreams and hopes helps you get to know one another better.
Start by describing fantasies you have involving each other to keep it safe. You might even discover a new thing to try in bed. You can branch out to other “character” once you’re both secure enough.
Or you can stay in fantasy-land, naming erotica ideas set in other time periods of even fictitious locations. Some people love the idea of being a white knight or being abducted by aliens after all!
7. Add to Your Erotic Bookshelf
Reading short stories to your lover is a quick way to turn each other on, and you can pick your favorite stories beforehand. There’s no shortage of erotic reading material, either! There’s an entire world of sexy reading outside of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Cleis Press is a publisher known for making anthologies and novels. Every year, Cleis publishes collections with gay, lesbian, BDSM and bisexual themes, among many others. Ann Rice’s “Sleeping Beauty” trilogy also uses bondage elements, but you’ll find plenty of variation in content if you take a look.
Plus, many writers publish directly to Amazon if you own a Kindle, and the Internet is full of fan fiction and erotic writing communities such as Literotica. Whatever your source, you’re sure to find new things to try in bed aplenty.
Do more than just imagine yourself in another story – play it. Roleplay can feel a little silly as a new thing to try, but it allows you to try on personas different from your own. If you have a lot of responsibility at work or home, playing a student or other submissive role can be a source of release.
Similarly, roleplay can involve costumes and props that breathe fresh air into your sex life. Perhaps you’ve still got a plaid skirt from your Catholic school days or you always wanted to see your man in a uniform. Roleplay lets you do both – just not at the same time!
9. Hand Over the Control
No, we’re not talking about domination and submission. Although, there are plenty of reasons to love that! Literally handing your partner the remote control to your vibrator can be thrilling! He gets to choose the intensity and mode, and you get all the pleasure.
There are a couple options to choose from. You can stay at home and give him the reigns with your favorite remote-controlled vibrator – Lelo has several that will do the trick. Or you can head out to dinner or the movies with a pair of vibrating panties that your lover can control with no one else the wiser.
10. Head to a Hotel
Sometimes the best new thing to try in bed is simply a different bed! A hotel is an easy way to do this, and it should definitely be on your sexy bucket list. Plus, you can add in a little roleplay.
Sex in a hotel room is awesome because you don’t have to worry about cleanup, but it’s even more enticing if you show up separately. You can grab a room while he’s finishing up work, set up mood lighting and put on your favorite lingerie while you wait for him to knock on the door.
11. Step Into Something Sexy
When you’re in a new sexual relationship, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing as long as you get to take off your clothes and have sex. However, an established relationship can become a little stale, leading you to look for new things to try in bed. That’s where sexy clothing and lingerie come in.
Start with your outfit, hair and makeup. If your husband is used to seeing you in sweats around the house, he’ll love seeing you all dolled up because he knows you want to be sexy for him.
Don’t forget what’s underneath, however. A matching pair of bra and panties will make him smile when he takes off your clothing. However, adding a garter belt and thigh-high stockings under your skirt will really drive him crazy. You can also consider a corset or bustier, which you can wear under your clothes. Props if your outfit includes ties or snaps that he can undo!
If you’re already in the bedroom, a bustier, babydoll or chemise with matching panties or robe will certainly turn on your man. It might be a little cliché, but pairing lingerie with your favorite high heels will get you some long, lustful glances for sure.
12. Pop in a Video
Have you ever wondered what so many people see in porn? It’s not only hot, but it’s a great place to get ideas for what you want to do next. You can watch porn and emulate it what’s happening on screen or simply use it to get your juices going and give you ideas about new things to try in bed.
There’s a wide variety of porn available, and you don’t even have to step foot in a sleazy adult superstore thanks to the Internet. YouPorn and similar sites offer free porn for viewing, while Sapphic Erotica and Kink Academy offer subscriptions to higher quality porn. Check out the titles by Tristan Taormino if you’re not a fan of mainstream porn with unrealistic breast implants!
13. Open the Backdoor
A lot of women are hesitant about anal sex while men often put this at the top of their list of new things to try in bed. Your apprehension is understandable, but anal sex can be enjoyable for you, too! Some women experience anal orgasms, and others simply love knowing how much pleasure they’re providing their partner.
Remember to take things slowly, communicate and use plenty of lube. You might not get anal sex right on the first time, and that’s okay. Starting with a smaller toy can help work your way up to your partner’s cock.
If you’re not into anal penetration, stimulation around your anus can also be pleasurable. Try a toy or have your partner rub you while having vaginal sex to add an extra element.
14. Play a Game: Who Can Last the Longest
If you’re a professional at the quickie, you probably have a routine that gets you in and out of the bedroom without alerting the kids, the roommates or the neighbors. But routine can get boring, so here’s to trying new things in bed!
The next time you want to have sex, play a little game with your partner. Take turns stimulating each other with your hands, bodies, mouths and genitals in an attempt to make the other cum. Your job is to resist orgasm no matter how difficult it is. Whoever holds out the longest wins.
Combine this game with edging, and you’ve potentially got hours of fun on your hands!
15. Make Out Like Teenagers
While many of the tips on this list focus on penetrative sex and things you can do to make it more exciting, sometimes the best thing you can do to turn each other on again is not have sex. This is especially true if you’re stuck in a rut.
You probably have fond memories of making out – in cars, movie theaters and when no one else was looking – as a teenager. Times were frenzied and full of lust, and you can get back to them with a little making out.
Of course, long kissing sessions leads to plenty of groping and even dry humping, which is a woman’s best friend if she likes grinding clitoral stimulation.
16. X Marks the Spot
The last suggestion on this list is a great way to teach a new lover where and how to stimulate you. It’s similar to playing with sex dice, but you get more control over where your lover’s focus goes.
Use body paint to create X’s on your body where you want your man to kiss, nibble, spank or grope. If it’s edible, he can lick it off when he completes the task. You can use eyeliner or washable marker in a pinch, but make sure to lay down a towel to keep your bedding clean!
You can use different symbols to indicate what you want him to do or simply write it out. And why not send a picture of your hip with “Bite here” written on it to get his mind racing during the day?
Trying new things in bed might require a little more forethought than you might currently give to sex, but that’s a good thing! Much of the enjoyment of sex comes from the mental component, and getting you and your lover to think about sex outside the bedroom will surely turn up the heat!.